I wasn't kidding. I want to know who it was that took a dump in my soup at the China Palace the other night. I was just sittin' there minding my own business; when I look down at my Won Ton and there's a big brown submarine in the bowl alongside my Won Tons....it was just looking up at me like, "Hey dude, I'm a turd....and I'm bathing in yer broth." What the Fuck!!?!?!? So I ask the waitress to please get me a fish net, and she looks at me like I just got offa her mother or something. So I start to kick and claw at the ugly bitch whilst screaming at the top of my lungs that there was a turd in my fuckin' Won Ton. I then proceed to look at the turd as if I was asking it, "Who put you in my soup??" The missle just floated there and bobbed around as if to say, "You can't do anything man, I'm the turd in your soup, and I know the secrets of life..."
What the fuck was I to do then??? I ended up trying to spoon the god damned thing out and it decided to break in half and go to dust in my fuckin WON TON!!! I almost hurled up the cat teriaki that I had already eaten...
SO...WHO FUCKING SHIT IN MY SOUP?!?!?!?!?
I expect a God damned answer to this by the end of next week.....
Fancy that....I'm a hardcore fan myself!!! I couldn't blame this dastardly deed on something as precious to me as hardcore. I also like death / grind....I may be onto something. I believe that we have a soup-shitting, Brittany Spears and TuPac / MTV loving queer in our midst. We must rise up and find him / her and end their sorry lives.
All of this after I fish the brown outta my broth.